i have this recurring dream: i finally make it to Paris but i can't get out of the hotel room .the scenarios change each time...a different reason why i can't get out.
sometimes the doors and windows are locked. i can see the iconic tower but i can't get to it. once the building was under terrorist 's control;once under government control. often times its because i have no money and fear an encounter with the concierge . sometimes its just because of my daily living anxiety...how hard it is for me to just go outside. those times i am alone,but occassionally i'm with someone who is preventing me from leaving the room.
always i am fully....achingly aware that i am only here for a short time which adds to the frustration and desperation to get out/ the time in paris won't last long and all i can do is gaze out the window and watch the city from inside. how like life...so short...and still,i observe far more often than i participate.