finally made it to the o'keeffe show at the brooklyn museum. i love stieglitz photographs of o'keeffe, but i love her paintings more. i would have preferred more painting,less photos.
speaking of photographs, i took a bunch of blurry pix at the exhibit .
i have this recurring dream: i finally make it to Paris but i can't get out of the hotel room .the scenarios change each time...a different reason why i can't get out.
sometimes the doors and windows are locked. i can see the iconic tower but i can't get to it. once the building was under terrorist 's control;once under government control. often times its because i have no money and fear an encounter with the concierge . sometimes its just because of my daily living anxiety...how hard it is for me to just go outside. those times i am alone,but occassionally i'm with someone who is preventing me from leaving the room.
always i am fully....achingly aware that i am only here for a short time which adds to the frustration and desperation to get out/ the time in paris won't last long and all i can do is gaze out the window and watch the city from inside. how like life...so short...and still,i observe far more often than i participate.
i've lived most of my life in boxes...big brick buildings;tall, square rooms.;heavily .barricaded from the outside world.....except for the glorious years in national city where i had an outside life with real earth under my feet and space to make art everyday. many thanks to jeanne and quentin where ever they are.'
i've hidden my self in boxes, too. Large and sharp edged, packed in layers of flesh as substantial as brick.