"you can always trust a wooden grandmother..."*

i come to this blog like a stranger returning to a place they've never really been. so many lifetimes passing in the blink of an eye  it could all be double talk or just the smokey meanderings of an aging woman with too much time on her hands.

these past months have been distorted by that black mirror of a worse than usual poverty and illnesses that were not mine, but touched me. deeply.

one of the only people to visit this blog passed away recently. he was a poet and he wrote fearlessly and from the heart. it is for him that i come to this place, searching for words and trying to create a new truth for myself in the time that remains. rest in peace, rix....i hope there's a Boardwalk in heaven.

*bob rixon,from the poem Boardwalk.

a new low

Today was a milestone of sorts; i reached a new low in my financial life. i sold my mother's rings for $110. with the credit cards maxed and twenty two cents in my checking account, it was a last resort.
guilt and shame and great sadness came with that cash. i traded away my mother's dreams and memories. the good news is there is food in the cupboards for another week.
came home wanting to cry, but painted instead on a recycled canvas with the last of the colors.
here is my heart today.

the doctor is in

waiting

this is a very old piece that was years in the making.  there's lots of batik,embroidery (not mine), beading and paint.

 

detail

 

 

images from a dream2

colored pencil on paper

the white church

anatomy of a painting

snug harbor

post number 400

here are some photos of the little ones.

here's rocky, celebrating his second birthday!  this is a true miracle.  when rocky was just a few months old he was diagnosed with a mass on his brain . the vets said he only had a few months to live. i am so glad he didn't listen to them.

his "brother", sam

his "sister"  sapphire.

10 min. charcoal drawings

dishes

bear mountain

old 42nd street

national city,ca

ballroom dancing

a kitchen

inside an airplane

alters

kneeling before a concrete alter; no old stones piled in place one by one.
the holy alter, lavish and draped in rich satin , on it perhaps a chalice of wine.
there is the alter of the human form, i worship in art.
or an alter to frida...boxed in with skeletons and monkeys and the colors of

mexico.

more 10 min. drawings

dessert

the acupuncturist

spring goddess

still life with key

extra terrestials

the gallery

"oh to live on sugar mountain, with the barkers and the colored balloons"

vegetables

ocks/watches

a bunch of 10 min. free draws